Sometimes I forget how amazing people are.
I remember when I was younger being at the stove speaking to mum nearly in tears explaining how I didnt want to get any older, I didnt want to become depressed and hate the world I wanted to stay happy.
When do we get to the point that we became those cynical bitter adults? I blame heartache. I dont think I would be as bitter towards the world if it wasnt for getting my heart shredded in a blazer when i was 20. Perhaps we just act like this because everyone says it. I would like to think that but I dont think it is.
I love those days when you feel free, happy and have life in you. Then you have those days like today and you just cant even talk and you just want to scream and cry and scream and cry. Perhaps its anxiety creeping up on me about melbourne or perhaps it just wasnt my day but I hate those isolated days, the crippled days. But then perhaps these feeling make way for a whole new amazement  of emotions and sensations.
As I was reciting how much I hate the world I received a message from my mum. She said she had left my a purple envolope in my bag. It was a poem. Saying how she wishes for my happiness every day and that I will never understand how much she loves me. I started to cry.
Then just a hour ago I got the most amazing message from ron. I clutched my heart and just was spread  with love and happiness.

Its sometimes so easy to forget about all the good things in life perhaps its easier.

With my heartache and purple envelope I will not become that adult that child katelyn was crying for.